Hello everyone! I realize this is a lot different than my normal posts but I feel like its stuff I’ve been wanting to say. I am a blogger who also has anxiety problems. They’ve been worse than now before; however, I still have some days that are worse than others.
Blogging with anxiety is rough for many reasons, the most obvious involving how I view myself in comparison to other bloggers and to other people in general. “Well they love her photo and mine is a similar style so why don’t they like mine? Am I not genuine enough?”
I then start to spiral and think, “Well what does that mean for the future? Will brands even want to work for me?” Then comes the sadness and lack of motivation to write posts and/or take pictures. Sometimes it’s seriously really hard y’all. I start to worry that my photos aren’t good enough or will never be up to the same standard as my best photos.
The most recent thing that caused me to spiral a bit was I had been having a really rough day and then my friend reached out to me. I had been offered a part-time marketing position with a company because of my blogging and we were emailing about the details and then the lady stopped replying. My friend then texted me a few days later saying they offered her the exact position.
It’s hard in this industry sometimes to be really happy for your other blogger friends especially when companies ask to work with them over you. Then I start to think about my content not being good enough or what to do to make it better. When my brain isn’t in its “spiral” mode then I logically know that I should be thrilled and that there will be other opportunities for me, but in the moment it’s really hard. It even makes the rest of my day a little bit worse.
Since I’ve been back at school, it’s been even more rough lately. I haven’t felt as if my posts were where I want them to be, they haven’t performed as well as they did whilst in New York this summer, and I feel as if I’ve been a bit stagnant. It’s really difficult to get out of this mindset and go take photos especially when it’s 90 degrees out and I sweat off all of my makeup in 5 minutes.
I no longer have an area where I think photos look nice and I swear my phone has been having issues getting the quality of my photos up its past standard. These are all things that I think about constantly and that make me worried that I’m not good enough to be a “real blogger.”
It’s not easy doing it all y’all. Everyone asks “how I do it” and my anxiety makes it a lot harder sometimes to come across as positive the majority of the time. A lot of the times I’ve had a really rough day and sometimes when it’s been a very bad day I can’t even muster up the courage to get on Instagram because seeing everyone else succeed more than me is really hard.
Anxiety makes it hard sometimes to be as supportive as I need to be to my fellow bloggers. Sometimes I am scared to go to their profiles because I know they’re killing it and I currently am not (well I am in my own way but it’s hard to see that sometimes). This is a really bad habit and I’ve been slowly training myself to compare myself less.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
– Theodore Roosevelt
I know there are probably many other bloggers out here with the same type of issues. I challenge myself, and y’all, to stop the comparing and spiraling! I know it’s hard but I know we can do it. I know there are bloggers without anxiety who feel this way too and I know you guys can stop the comparison game as well.
We are all special and unique in our own way and that should be celebrated! It’s what makes us stand out but also what brings us together as a community.
I hope I was able to shed a little light on this issue for you guys and open up myself to you more. If you can relate to any part of this definitely comment below to offer encouragement to others, ask to talk, or just anything else!
My comment section and DM’s on Instagram are always open for anyone who needs to talk. My Instagram can be found at @sequinsandsales!